Amen, M.T. The toll exacted can be so high. Being "wide open" is painful indeed, and I find with my own struggles with mental illness that being wide open can be next to impossible. I feel pain: "Tracks of red/that can't keep pace/with tears of words/unspoken"—the effort feels monumental. Of course, I'm projecting here, but I wanted you to know how much this poem moved me and reached out to me.
Also, the meter, the rhyme, the powerful imagery—chef's kiss! Well done! Thank you.